Ok I originally set up this blog to write about my problems, successes with job searching, but I realised that my job seeking woes would be so boring that I would put you all to sleep so I gave up on that idea. I’ll give you a quick run down on my year so far before I get the the title matter of my blog.
It’s nearly the end of August which really means it’s nearly the end of 2012. How scary is that? It seems such a short time ago that I was looking forward to the start of this year. I didn’t realise that this year some so called friends would have came along and try to destroy the life I had. I am genuinely a very nice person, I try my best to help and support my friends when and if they need it. This year I’ve realised that some people are beyond help even if they are sitting there crying out to you to help them – if you listen hard enough you will soon realise that they really don’t want your help they just want you to do all the hard work for them. It took me until July this year to realise how poisonous some friends were to my life. These friends did nothing but complain about how bad their life was, about Social Service who had taken their children from them, about how hard it was to visit their children, about how little time they got to spend with their children, about how much Social Services hated them and how much they hated Social Services – you get the gist of it? – so much negativity in their lives mostly caused by themselves but to listen to them it was everybody else’s fault. I soon found myself dragged into their lives, problems, bitching, hate sessions and due to the fact that they were living close by I saw them nearly every day. I found my life was being dragged down and I hated getting up in the morning. I was hardly going anywhere and could barely be bothered moving. I had a massive realisation one day that I didn’t need to live with this type of people in my life. They were nothing to do with me, they weren’t family, they didn’t really want support – they really just wanted somewhere to bitch and moan. I stopped contact with these people in June but it took a few weeks of having no contact with them to realise how much of an impact their negativity had on my own life. Without contact with them I had nobody moaning and bitching every day, I had time to do and read things I wanted to read. I soon realised that I was also feeling better about myself. The only problem with cutting off contact with these friends was that they had parked their backsides in my estranged husbands house and were living with him, so by cutting contact with them I basically had to cut contact with him too. I had hoped to work things out but I realised that until he started to see these people for what they were there was nothing I could do for him.
Now comes the EPIPHANY. I wakened up one day – 15 July – and realised that although I thought my life was shit, that I was the only one who could sort it out. Yes ME! A little saying came to me that morning
Cheesy I know but it’s the epiphany I had, the kick up the ass I needed. This is when I thought I will and can sort myself out. I don’t need to sort out other people’s lives, I am important in my life.
I made myself a little list of what I wanted to start doing to sort things.
- Stop smoking
- Lose weight
- Get fitter
- go to the dentist
Yes it’s a little list but I wanted to start small. I didn’t want to set myself up to fail from the start. Strangely enough I decided to start with what I thought would be the hardest thing to do and that was to stop smoking. I decided on 30 July as my stopping date and went along to the local Smoking Cessation group. As of this date I am now 28 days smoke free and I’m so damned proud of myself. This blog will be my tale of how I cope with not smoking, what I’m gonna do to get fitter and lose weight and tales of woe about visiting the dentist. So stay tuned.