Nerves, twitches and climbing the Walls

Lesley – Free and Healing for One Month, Eight Days, 12 Hours and 25 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 2 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1186 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £415.61.

OK now you would think that after that many days ^^ that the ‘I need a fag!’ cravings would have gone. Bet your thinking my title refers to that 😀 well most of us would considering this is a life after smoking blog. Well luckily for me they have. I’ve surprised myself by how little I have actually craved one. I know the first week was an absolute killer and I did crave one every time somebody lit up. Luckily for me the Inhalator has been a godsend, I know they don’t work for everybody but sometimes I feel it helps me get over those little times when I have that ‘feeling’. Whether it’s something to chew on or whether it’s to use it the way it’s supposed to be used. Although I will say you’re not supposed to chew on them as I was told by the local chemist – they are called INHALATORS not chew sticks.

Ok on to the subject matter at hand. The nerves, twitches and me wanting to climb the walls.

Now what could be causing this you ask?

She says it’s not the want of a fag, so what could it be? The Nicotine has gone from her system, it’s just the habit of smoking to kick now so what can she mean.

At least when I read nobody can change the channel in the middle of my story.

I will give you a quick run down on who I am before I tell you my problem. I’m a 40 something female, Mum of 4, Gran to 5, friend to many and a self-confessed WoW geek. Oh forgot to mention if I’m not glued to a computer screen then I’m face into a book or in the past 20 months it’s been updated to a Kindle. I read anything and everything, but I’m a great lover of Anne Rice and thriller books (not 50 shades though not into that kind of thrill). My Kindle is my friend, it goes everywhere with me, I would cry if anything happened to it. Well now comes the problem. My daughter is off on holiday to Zante and asked to borrow my Kindle. Now being a nice Mummy, I said yes forgetting that she would be gone 2 weeks. Now I tried hard to pick up a cheap one for her before she went but had no luck so because I said I’d give her it it’s gone on holiday to Zante with her. I will say to my utter disgust though she made me put the 50 Shades books on it before she left – now that made me cry, my poor Kindle being subjected to that kind of filth. Though my daughter has bought it a lovely set of holiday clothes to cheer it up on holiday so I’m hoping it will be a happy Kindle while it is away and that she takes very good care of it. The strange thing is the first day she took it I found myself reaching for it only to realise it was not there, it was just the old empty case that I keep it in. I honestly didn’t realise how much I used it til it went away, I’m more twitchy and craving the Kindle more than I did the fags when I gave them up. I’ve had to resort to Ye Olde Style Books since it went away. Bet you’re sitting there thinking it’s been away for nearly 2 weeks already aren’t you? It went away on Tuesday and I’ve got another 10 days of this, what am I going to do!!! I’ve found myself reaching more for my Inhalator, not sure if it’s just so I have something to hold or whether it’s just a nervous reaction but I’ve not been tempted to reach for a fag. Now another thing, what happens when it goes away, YES Amazon decide it’s time to announce that they are bringing out the Kindle Fire in the UK at last. Yes fire my cravings in my face Amazon. Just what I need when I open my Facebook page or go to Amazon to buy my coffee.

I’m reckoning though that it’s crazy that something so small can become a major part of our life without us realising. I know that sounds mad but my Kindle was part of who I am, bit like smoking becomes a part of who we are I suppose. We become slightly lost without it when we stop, lose it or simply can’t have it. It feels kinda silly to write this but we often become reliant on things without realising whether it be smoking, alcohol, drugs, coffee, mobile phones or in my case, Kindle. They are there when we want them, when we need them and can be a comfort when nothing else can be. I know with smoking I did it because I wanted to and because I thought I enjoyed it. Looking back now I’m not sure why I smoked. It seems like a lifetime ago but it’s only just over a month. I can now breath better, walk further without getting out of breath. Not sure about the taste thing though, Cadbury’s chocolate now tastes disgusting but Thornton chocolate still tastes LUSH.

Tasks for next week

  • visit smoking cessation group
  • attend Walking Group
  • Get a haircut
  • if dry,try walking up that hill I want to conquer – or part of it

About inmylifeandbeyond

40 something Mum of 4 Self confessed WoW geek Avid Reader
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One Response to Nerves, twitches and climbing the Walls

  1. Great post, it made me smile. Now kick that kindle addiction….or download the kindle reader app for your phone 🙂

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